I AM DIFFERENT

I lay naked in my pool of shame,
Stoned by questions many,
I am drenched in the colour red,
Injuries of dignity reside on my heart,
And I cry for I am different……..

I swim uphill forever,
Against the tide and against the volume,
Is that a challenge to the order?
If yes then I am proud of myself,
If yes then I am proud of the questions posed….

Love knows no distinctions,
Love cannot be loved while on the fence forever,
I thus refuse to never be on the fence ever,
I wish to love; I wish to be loved,
Then why are you punishing me for love?

I have loved in silence,
I have loved one who doesn’t know of me…
It is punishment enough for me,
Let me be, please for I am a human….
Let me be please for my heart bleeds.

Yes, I am different; I am not one of you,
But then again I am still one of us,
I live; I breathe, love and contribute…
Let me be for I am truly proud of my choices…
For I choose to be different…..

BEYOND CERTAIN BORDERS……. BEYOND A FEW BOUNDARIES…………..

The world lives through borders,
Our country believes in borders,
And, lives weaken on boundaries,
So does religion, so does love and so does peace……..

Borders are definite yet unreliable,
Borders are meant to stop, but,
They do less…..very less for the true wanderer,
For, they are obstacles we wish to traverse,
For, they are rules we aspire to bend.

We equate borders and boundaries,
They are one and the same but are different too,
Do you feel the same?
Borders may separate nations and land,
But, boundaries distance you and me…………..

Borders and boundaries have been created to protect,
Shelter us from harm and fury,
But, then do we need this fortification? Does death recognise borders?
Does love understand confines? Does hatred acknowledge boundaries?
So, are we guarding ourselves from love, or hatred or death?

If love is what we despise, if hatred and death is what we are troubled from,
Let me tell you dear friend,
Love does fly, death can crawl and hate is capable of travel,
Far and wide, through comfort and sorrow,
For no border can stop them, then who are you and me?

Borders can never stop the meeting of the destined,
Borders can never prevent the fated distress,
People will meet now, here and today,
They will share, emotions and views, later and tomorrow,
Because isolated we die, because secluded we become stagnant.

Let’s talk about boundaries now,
Between you and me, involving them and there,
Distinctions may just be many, languages may just vary,
But hearts are truly the same,
For first we are humans, and then may we be a race.

You may cry on an affair, which could sadden me,
I might laugh on a joke you may well just smirk on,
You might be angry on something; I might just be ruffled for the same,
But does that differ us as humans?
We still are the same, in flesh and in blood…….

Then, why the borders? Then, why the boundaries?
Boundaries may just exist, borders have to stay,
So, let’s open them in spirit if not in letter,
Let’s live not in irreverence of borders, and,
In acceptance of boundaries.

For we will exist, for we have to survive,
For we must care, for we have to love,
Because when we stop to love and care, we no longer remain humans,
And what are borders without humans,
And what are boundaries without feelings,
We do live our lives contained in borders, but life is best bereft of boundaries.

YOU ARE THE WRONG KIND OF RIGHT

Life it seems plays its own tunes, its own games,
He never plays by the rules,
Neither is he constrained by emotions,
But he creates a right,
And then he creates a wrong,
And then he plays a cruel joke on us,
When we fall for the wrong kind of right.

Life is ruthless, life is unemotional,
And he goes sometimes even further,
But he makes us emotional, gullible and sentimental,
We see 'That Someone' and fall on our knees,
And life never warns us that that he is not the right one,
So we fall for him, 'The One' in our eyes,
And he is the wrong kind of right.

Yes you are the one for me,
The very wrong kind of right,
You are wierdly enticing,
With that slighly curved smile and brown eyes,
You know of your charm, you use it well,
You know I like you and you employ it good,
You are the Mr. Right but the wrong kind of right.

I hate your guts, your arrogance,
You are a prey to every male malady,
You are vain, proud, have an attitude and demanding,
But i fidn them completely alluring,
I am a girl very sure of herself,
But your self assurance makes me look weak,
You are so the Mr. Right, but I am in the wrong.

You know my likings,
You know my choices,
You know I see you the way no one does,
And you hit the soft spots when it matters to me,
Yet you act just as I hate,
Yet you choose choices which are not mine,
You see, you are the Mr. Right but the wrong Mr. Right.

You hit on me incessantly,
You get cosy on tender moments,
You flirt publicly without shame,
You confuse me with hot and cold,
Yet when it comes to making it offcial,
You hold back oh so severly,
You are the Mr. Right but it seems not for me.

So today I choose, choose between right and wrong,
I choose for myself rather than for you,
You are a heart breaker,
The diamond one wants but can't afford,
You are heavebly attractive yet you dont call me enticingly,
You may be Mr. Right but you are not mine,
I fell for you, the wrong kind of right.

LOVE… LOVING IN ABSOLUTE SILENCE….

I fell in love but never disclosed it,
I fell in love yet never shouted off rooftops,
It remains in me, locked in my heart,
Unspoken off, unheard off,
Shocked as I was, I never knew I would,
Fall in love, ever…..

In silence I have lived my life,
In stillness I have remained ecstatic,
And now I am in love and I remained quiet.
The sudden rush of winds swept me off,
And I was taken aback,
How could you change for my eyes?

Change… Change is the only word constant in our lives,
And you were first an acquaintance,
You were disregarded by me, and I was by you….
Then midway you became a friend,
Your jokes took me warmly, your laugh rung wonderful,
Slowly small talk moved to heart to heart…..

And one day, you turned up at my doorstep,
Unannounced, inhibited, drenched in rain and more…
I laughed at your plight, as you just looked on,
Innocence unknown to me was all over you,
That very moment I gave my heart away,
And you suddenly became the centre of my life, replacing me.

And now, I can’t say anything to you,
When you touch me it makes my day,
When you laugh with me, I reach heaven,
And when you devote some of your time to me, I remain indebt.
I want to tell you but you seem to love someone else,
And all this while I remain silent….

Everyday what I wish is a true glimpse of yours,
Everyday a moments laughter makes me swing on rainbows,
And everyday a touch of yours on my soft shoulders is hoped,
I remain in love and in silence…
I am not complaining but I am in distress,
I am in love in silence and all I want is to tell……

ECSTACY UNKNOWN……. AND SOME LOVE

As the first rain of the season trickles down the seams of my shirt,
A shiver passes through my stream,
My skin seizes in pain unknown,
And it seems you have just touched me…..

Your skin is soft and mellow,
Your touch is sensuous yet hard,
You are warm and it shows….
Yet, as the rain seeps through me
You are no where to be seen…………

It just seemed that your warm thin lips kissed my neck,
That your hands pushed my hair and touched my bare back,
And your fingers carelessly caressed my waist,
And I firmly held on to you as you held on to me……

You disrobe me of my armour,
I let go off it as you turn me towards you,
You disarm me of my self
As I separate me from my modesty….
I suddenly become all yours and only yours.

The rain keeps pounding on us,
It picks in volume and lashings,
My fingers run through your chest,
And I wholly submit myself to your will…. My will it seems.

You speak words of love and affection to my ears,
And my soaked lips part in a smile,
I look up and seek courage; the next steps are difficult…
As I take my first steps in love,
I realise that these seem to be your first too…..

With a steady motion you disregard my clothes unhurried,
I stand still; I stand naked in front of you…..
I was undressed in thought, I was bare in action and I was undisguised in my soul,
And you embraced me in ecstasy.

You were kind in love,
You were ruthless in elation,
Your lips called me in tender moments,
Your eyes caught me in storms many,
And I wilted in you, for that moment was one… for we were one.

And as suddenly, as you had come,
You left me in cold…
I sat alone in the rain,
Undone, as my soul drenched itself in blood.

I stand here today,
Waiting for you… waiting to be with you,
And I am here today,
The night in the rain remains with me,
For it was ecstasy unknown, for it was love unknown.

‘I DO MY BEST'

You are the one I love,
And I have been loving you for a while, five years maybe,
I have been quiet about it,
You have been oblivious about it,
Yet I kept loving you.

If I am Jules, then you are my Romeo,
Yet we never have met,
I see you from a distance and I love you,
Constancy has been my endeavour, my hallmark,
And I have loved you all along....

She, my best friend, asks me forever,
Why am I in love with you,
He, my criminal in arm, begs me to stop,
To stop giving pieces of me to you,
Yet I don’t listen to them, and I go on loving you.

Yes, it has been five years, long time....
And I still seem to be madly in love with you,
Ten days to go before we begin new lives,
I come to your room and give you a gift,
A diary of memories, of mine and yours....

You smile, and you flip through it,
My eyes water down, we might never meet again,
You give me a reluctant hug, intimacy never your forte,
And as I turn to leave you say- 'Thank you for loving me'.......
I nod and reply 'I do my best', close the door behind me and shed a tear........

I truly did my best......

MOVING ON ALONE......

Maybe it is time, maybe it is not,
But then we never realise when it is time,
Time to love, time to leave, time for truth or lie,
Time to hate, time to breathe or live......
But we just do, we just act, on impulse, and so am I,
I am moving on...... Alone!

I am not alone, I have me,
This is no story from a book,
This is life, and it is mine,
And I need to have it back,
Before I seem to loose myself,
Or before I turn to my grave.

As I turn back, and I turn often,
I see you smiling, that smile I loved,
But it somehow doesnt reach your eyes.... Somehow.
I wonder why, and I keep wondering,
The wind is behind my back, it is driving me up,
But all I do, all I want is to turn back, one last glimpse.....

The world keeps changing,
But my world is the same, static.
Cities have changed, a million gallons of water between us,
Yet when my name is called, all I want to see is you called me out,
I imagine, the loud call, a bit harsh, filled with gravity,
And I turned around, but it wasnt you... never you.

I close my eyes in the night, knowing you are up...
The other side of the world has you,
And here I am, with my family,
With all the love God may offer, but I cheat...every day,
And as I sleep towards another sleepless night,
You occupy my mind, my heart, my soul....... I cheat, every night.

I claim to have moved on, alone....
But I dont think I have, maybe I can never,
Maybe I never wanted to,
In my mind your hand is always with mine, you heart with me....always
And as the night turns to another day, I wake up...
Wide and alert, ready to move on.... Alone

(Somehow inspired by Ingrid Michaelson's 'Turn to Stone'.... somehow)