LOVE… LOVING IN ABSOLUTE SILENCE….

I fell in love but never disclosed it,
I fell in love yet never shouted off rooftops,
It remains in me, locked in my heart,
Unspoken off, unheard off,
Shocked as I was, I never knew I would,
Fall in love, ever…..

In silence I have lived my life,
In stillness I have remained ecstatic,
And now I am in love and I remained quiet.
The sudden rush of winds swept me off,
And I was taken aback,
How could you change for my eyes?

Change… Change is the only word constant in our lives,
And you were first an acquaintance,
You were disregarded by me, and I was by you….
Then midway you became a friend,
Your jokes took me warmly, your laugh rung wonderful,
Slowly small talk moved to heart to heart…..

And one day, you turned up at my doorstep,
Unannounced, inhibited, drenched in rain and more…
I laughed at your plight, as you just looked on,
Innocence unknown to me was all over you,
That very moment I gave my heart away,
And you suddenly became the centre of my life, replacing me.

And now, I can’t say anything to you,
When you touch me it makes my day,
When you laugh with me, I reach heaven,
And when you devote some of your time to me, I remain indebt.
I want to tell you but you seem to love someone else,
And all this while I remain silent….

Everyday what I wish is a true glimpse of yours,
Everyday a moments laughter makes me swing on rainbows,
And everyday a touch of yours on my soft shoulders is hoped,
I remain in love and in silence…
I am not complaining but I am in distress,
I am in love in silence and all I want is to tell……

ECSTACY UNKNOWN……. AND SOME LOVE

As the first rain of the season trickles down the seams of my shirt,
A shiver passes through my stream,
My skin seizes in pain unknown,
And it seems you have just touched me…..

Your skin is soft and mellow,
Your touch is sensuous yet hard,
You are warm and it shows….
Yet, as the rain seeps through me
You are no where to be seen…………

It just seemed that your warm thin lips kissed my neck,
That your hands pushed my hair and touched my bare back,
And your fingers carelessly caressed my waist,
And I firmly held on to you as you held on to me……

You disrobe me of my armour,
I let go off it as you turn me towards you,
You disarm me of my self
As I separate me from my modesty….
I suddenly become all yours and only yours.

The rain keeps pounding on us,
It picks in volume and lashings,
My fingers run through your chest,
And I wholly submit myself to your will…. My will it seems.

You speak words of love and affection to my ears,
And my soaked lips part in a smile,
I look up and seek courage; the next steps are difficult…
As I take my first steps in love,
I realise that these seem to be your first too…..

With a steady motion you disregard my clothes unhurried,
I stand still; I stand naked in front of you…..
I was undressed in thought, I was bare in action and I was undisguised in my soul,
And you embraced me in ecstasy.

You were kind in love,
You were ruthless in elation,
Your lips called me in tender moments,
Your eyes caught me in storms many,
And I wilted in you, for that moment was one… for we were one.

And as suddenly, as you had come,
You left me in cold…
I sat alone in the rain,
Undone, as my soul drenched itself in blood.

I stand here today,
Waiting for you… waiting to be with you,
And I am here today,
The night in the rain remains with me,
For it was ecstasy unknown, for it was love unknown.

‘I DO MY BEST'

You are the one I love,
And I have been loving you for a while, five years maybe,
I have been quiet about it,
You have been oblivious about it,
Yet I kept loving you.

If I am Jules, then you are my Romeo,
Yet we never have met,
I see you from a distance and I love you,
Constancy has been my endeavour, my hallmark,
And I have loved you all along....

She, my best friend, asks me forever,
Why am I in love with you,
He, my criminal in arm, begs me to stop,
To stop giving pieces of me to you,
Yet I don’t listen to them, and I go on loving you.

Yes, it has been five years, long time....
And I still seem to be madly in love with you,
Ten days to go before we begin new lives,
I come to your room and give you a gift,
A diary of memories, of mine and yours....

You smile, and you flip through it,
My eyes water down, we might never meet again,
You give me a reluctant hug, intimacy never your forte,
And as I turn to leave you say- 'Thank you for loving me'.......
I nod and reply 'I do my best', close the door behind me and shed a tear........

I truly did my best......

MOVING ON ALONE......

Maybe it is time, maybe it is not,
But then we never realise when it is time,
Time to love, time to leave, time for truth or lie,
Time to hate, time to breathe or live......
But we just do, we just act, on impulse, and so am I,
I am moving on...... Alone!

I am not alone, I have me,
This is no story from a book,
This is life, and it is mine,
And I need to have it back,
Before I seem to loose myself,
Or before I turn to my grave.

As I turn back, and I turn often,
I see you smiling, that smile I loved,
But it somehow doesnt reach your eyes.... Somehow.
I wonder why, and I keep wondering,
The wind is behind my back, it is driving me up,
But all I do, all I want is to turn back, one last glimpse.....

The world keeps changing,
But my world is the same, static.
Cities have changed, a million gallons of water between us,
Yet when my name is called, all I want to see is you called me out,
I imagine, the loud call, a bit harsh, filled with gravity,
And I turned around, but it wasnt you... never you.

I close my eyes in the night, knowing you are up...
The other side of the world has you,
And here I am, with my family,
With all the love God may offer, but I cheat...every day,
And as I sleep towards another sleepless night,
You occupy my mind, my heart, my soul....... I cheat, every night.

I claim to have moved on, alone....
But I dont think I have, maybe I can never,
Maybe I never wanted to,
In my mind your hand is always with mine, you heart with me....always
And as the night turns to another day, I wake up...
Wide and alert, ready to move on.... Alone

(Somehow inspired by Ingrid Michaelson's 'Turn to Stone'.... somehow)