NOTES FROM MY LIFE

NOTES ON MY LIFE

1. 1995
I score an 82 in my Maths exam. I am over the moon, so is my Ma for she cannot believe, as can I, that I found my way around numbers. But then my Baba comes home for lunch, goes through my answer script, smirks, ruffles my hair and says I could have scored another 10 marks in the paper.


At seven, my Baba taught me not to give myself certificates unless they are warranted.


2. 1998
I am at Gujrat Sports House in Ahmedabad crying openly in the shop wanting that Yonex Tennis racquet worth 3000 rupees. My Baba resolutely refuses, keeps looking for a substitute while my Ma holds my hands, never once consoling me. After an hour of needless drama from my side, I emerge out of the shop with a racquet less than half the price of the desired Yonex racquet, less fancy but good enough for a decent novice player like me.


At ten, I was taught that all demands may just remain demands and not all demands would demand a conversion to results.


3. 1999
I am being shipped off to the Scindia School, and I am off to another shopping spree for the long list of demands that a boarding school stay requires. I never till then owned a Nike, Reebok or Adidas. Never ever demanded one, but on that day my Baba takes me to this fancy shop and as a eleven year old my dream comes true when he buys me my first Reebok shoe. Before that day the closest I had come to a fancy shoe was playing with a guy next to me on the court with him slipping effortlessly into one.


At eleven, I learnt that sometimes patience is a virtue and what you secretly wish for might just come true when the moment is opportune enough for it to materialise. At eleven, I learnt to wait......


4. 2002
Boarding school, Grade 9, I am struggling academically and socially. Help is at hand through not from any friend. I am to blame for it all, and my Baba patiently heard my cries, he did his part, explaining me through it all, speaking to my ever helpful Housemaster but if there was something to be done it had to be done by me.


At fourteen, I was taught that a clap requires both hands, that I was to be responsible for my own actions, and that whatever age, a mess created by you has to be cleaned by you and no one else.


5. 2004
Academics is at all an all time low. My Baba seems to have given up, I don’t know where to head, but my Ma keeps giving me that unflinching look of encouragement every morning when I head to school and every afternoon when I come home. In the end 2005 brings good news....


At 16, I learnt that there is always that one person who is your bedrock, the foundation of all your strength and these people come from the unlikeliest of quarters. As for me my Ma could never have been a positive person but somehow she showed encouragement, not in words but in her aura. At sixteen, I learnt my Ma is my strength and that we all have one, just around the corner.


6. 2005
My first academic success, 12th Grade brings me a cool 90%. My Baba is happy, my Ma is ecstatic but I am just about glad that the whole exercise is over.


At seventeen, I realised that an achievement long awaited or long deserved or long overdue brings relief rather than excitement, that the relief always consequences in humbleness which is always desired.


7. 2006
My first year of Law in Pune, my first year with an independent bank account and in three months I have blown a hole through a big deposit which my Baba has placed. Three months in I realised my folly and I ask him to take the excess fat off my account. He refuses... Point blank.


At eighteen, my Baba taught me the value of money, the value of saving and the value of hard work for money. At eighteen, I learnt that it is easy to spend, difficult to earn, and that to teach a few valuable lessons a parent does not mind losing money, as long as the message reaches the right ear.


8. 2007
One of my best friend, who happens to be my mentor, my guide, my icon decides to leave college at the end of the first year. He transfers to a college in Mumbai. I am angry and act out for a long time, not understanding why he did this. I wonder for over a year what has happened in my life though we still kept in touch constantly.


At nineteen, my best friend taught me that a few decisions are tough to make, and tough decisions are generally sound decisions and that sacrificing today’s happiness for tomorrow’s success needs no validation except from the heart of the decision maker.


9. 2007
My first year in an apartment while sharing it with two friends. One disses my existence while the other hates me on my face. I am shocked, I don’t know how to react, how to live in a world where I am not liked at all, not that I am strange to this situation. But I manage, and by the time the following year rolls by I know I have made a friend while I am at peace with the other.


At nineteen, I realise that I won’t be loved by one and all, no matter how hard I try.


10. 2007
He is in love, I see that everyday. She is his best friend but does not realise the depth of his feelings. A point comes when she does; the friendship remains on the fence but never goes beyond. But he still loves her, knowing he will never ever get her, but he still continues to love her.


At nineteen, I was educated that no one falls out of true love, and the ones who do, never ever fell in love in the first place……


11. 2008
After a year of silent disassociation, my best friend and I reconcile in silence. After a year of constant let downs, another best friend blesses me with some sense and good sense does indeed prevail. After a year of hopeless arguments, my third best friend and I bury our past for a new beginning. And due to the proactiveness of another friend we turn and find ourselves on the same page.


At twenty, I leant that no matter the distance, if you are best friends distance will merely remain a word in the dictionary.


12. 2008
He is a fabulous professor, but he is blind. So all we do in his class is plug in music and talk amongst ourselves or do our own thing in silence, never ever listening to his treasure trove of knowledge he has to offer. But not my friend. He would sit up straight, no matter what the distraction, discuss the subject earnestly, and not ever give a single stand-in attendance, not even for his best friends.


At twenty, he taught me that we should never, under any circumstances, no matter what the consequences agree to take advantage of a disability, respect knowledge and specially the one who gives us the knowledge. At twenty, he taught me how shallow I had become and that even in the midst of his best friends he had the courage to stand up for what he felt was right, be unapologetic about it and live his life the way he wanted to.


13. 2009
I am in my fourth year, with friends, it is an established company but no ones really thinks high off me. No one expects anything great from me. I am quiet nameless and faceless. And come one day and I win a friendly poker tournament amongst seven friends, who have been playing for a long while. Everyone is surprised; no one acknowledges my skill, instead raving about my luck. But I know that it was luck with some skill which brought me the big pot.... But no one acknowledges the skill at work.


At twenty-one, I realised that it is a heavenly feeling to be an underdog, that it is ecstasy to constantly surprise people and that it is important to underplay yourself. At twenty-one, I just about realised that it is also important that I don’t drown myself in other people’s perceptions for they are just perceptions, like dust they fly off... And all they need is a brush off, just so that they don’t settle on and leave scars.